estheryap's Xanga

A Poem from Rick O'Shea.. Ma Big Brother!

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 02:54:27 GMT

Sunday 11/06/2006 2.21 am

What a great encouragement i received in the middle of my "Pain"?.. Not feeling well today again.. having some Cold and girl's pain..:) Not as serious as what i used to have, but can be quite hard when i havn't fall sick for ages.

Anyways, Thank u so much! Praise god!

POEM:
There was once a girl named Yap,
Who had little time for a nap,
She got on with life even through strife,
and rested when she found a gap.

Now Yap always liked to talk,
It wasn't her intention to balk,
but her tongue kept moving
and her words kept proving,
Her faith and her christian walk.

Pastor Yap as she could be known,
for the leadership she has shown,
I'm sure you'll agree
that one day there'll be,
a great harvest from what she has sown.

Rick O'Shea

The World is full of Hope!! HOPE!!

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 01:41:40 GMT

Friday 2.33pm

But Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do no see, we wait for it patiently...Romans 8:24b-25

Hallelujah! Praise God! Although im having quite severe cold today ( nose block, eyes red n throat soar..), but it never stops me from Shouting n Praising him~!!! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah~!

Last night I attended our second last DNA course..& it Reminds me the power of POSITIVITY in life !! :) God is positive & everything that is not positive does not come from god!

+ Empowers action - Stops action ; + Generates energy, - Drains Energy ;
+ Builds & Give Life, - Destroy & Kill life; + Encourage & Lift us High,
- Discourage & Drag us down!

I believe many would agree with me that we’re often tied up with negativity in life! Eg: Life is full of wonders, yet so unpredictable, so challenging! Assignments and Exams – Compulsory for a degree, yet so stressful, very tension! Work – Such a great experience, yet so busy, so hectic! People – So needing them, but so complicated, so full with expectation! Finances – Important to survive, yet so hard to find, never had enough! List goes on and on…

Hey hey hey!! God never says life is without challenges!! God says life is with challenges all the time…!! But, what makes us different as a Christian is that God always goes through our darkest times with us! And what happens always happens with a reason in his perfect timing! He wants to makes us the Best out of our Worst circumstances? (Ps. Casey Treat)

How does this work?

Well, when you fall, Get up!! What if I Fall again?? Then get up again!! When I feel down? Then… get yourself around positive people that could encourage you, that could lift u up!! We’re talking about perseverance here.. Never Quit!! Cuz when we are weak, then god will make us strong! When we are poor, he’ll make us rich….:) All things are possible with god !! n ya.. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens us Phil 4:13!! I’ve been through my darkest times… and never I had a time that I need to be alone.. god may not seem to b an instant god.. but he always comes to the rescue at his perfect timing! He was always on time (like superman), and was never too late! I Hope this sharing helps to encourage somebody today! I believe this will work well with you as how it had worked well with me!

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint…! Isaiah 40:30-32

what are you choosing today? Negativity or Positivity??

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mon, 08 May 2006 00:51:17 GMT

Xanga

Yeah! another touched story!!

My Great brother - Justin! is currently in his exam "battlefield" in the United States.. having enough stress n pressure of his own..yet still cares n concern so much bout my health:) He emailed n rang me a few times, giving me details of the doctors n even offered to pay for me..im so blessed!! who said no one cares for you?? hehe...

Lord you are Good, and your Mercy endures forever!

Mon, 08 May 2006 00:18:53 GMT

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Monday 08/05/06 11:36am

Good Morning Wellington! Hallelujah! His mercy is new every morning!
Well, It took me a year to sign up for this, Finally...! Very exciting!! Praise God :) Although im not feeling very well, but his grace is sufficient for me! I will still Rejoice and Praise him no matter what lies ahead, no matter how hard circumstances could be!

Well, took a day off from work..needing this for a long time adi. (rest & away mode). Still struggling whether to go for a doctor (cuz the consultation fees are expensive, since im not under the international student's insurance anymore).. but ya, our body is the temple of the holy spirit..(1 Corinthians 6:19) must take care! Its priceless..!! Havent fallen sick for ages (more than a year, broke my life record!). I was a regular patient every since young..always with stomach n head problems.. (people close to me knows it well, but god have healed me last year of my menses and gastric problems! Amen!)

One thing that touches me most, my boss - Anna rang me few minutes ago and asked me if i've went to the doctors already! Im so so touched, she's not only giving me a day off, but also rang & reminded me to go to the doctors!! Unbelievable :) I Truly see god's love through & in her !!! Amazing eh~!?

I was feeling very discouraged, dissapointed and weary for months already i guess..!?! Fire up till flaming down! Looking back at the serving "Passion" i had from 1 1/2 years ago till few months back, seeing it diminishing day by day, bits by bits.. and it even came till a point that i was wanting to give up, leave this country and head home to Malaysia! (Having real hard financial difficulties, flat issues, people issues, cultural issues, misunderstanding and miscommunication, lack of support and care, unbalanced life...etc).. all these life tangles were driving me CRAZY!! Started to be confused of his will and direction for me, started to question if he still wants me to stay in NZ, started to hide from people, started to feel so tired in doing his work... etc...Started to feel HOMESICK!?! (never have happened in my life..)

Sounding real negative eh!?! Seasons change, but god's love will never change! He's still the same in the past, present and will still be d same in future! I was weeping yesterday, but hv learnt and being so encouraged by him today! The Devil came to steal and kill my passion, causes confusion and doubt so that i may eventually give up n leave... but God came that i may have life, a life to have it to the full! (John 10:10) Praise god!

God have placed so many guardian angels around me.. Well, God have never promised me a smooth and problemless life, but hv promised me to go through my life tangles with me! It's through trial and tribulation that i grow and learn! I thank you god for all the challenges that you've given to mould me to become a better person! The moment that i felt like giving up.. people not understanding me, he've sent Justin, Ricky, David, Ching and Stephanie to listen to me...(emails, text messages, time & energy, food...) the moment i felt like nobody cares, he've sent John and Jono to visit and pop by saying hello~! (even wrote me a card and gv me a box of chocolate juz becuz they notice i wasnt at church) I was truly touched.. all these are not by accident..but god's plan~!

I thank you lord for Justin, Ricky and Ching for supporting and encouraging me all the way with god's word and love! When i was sharing breakfast with Ching this morning, having great discouragement again.. feeling sick and weak.. she decided not to go to class.. and suggested to watch a video sermon at City Harvest , Singapore website...! I was blown away by the message and being lifted up again in spirit! God, u're amazing..! u know what i juz needed and hv sent someone like Ching to remind me of your Grace and Mercy~!

I would love to share what ive learnt this morning that hv encourages me so much inside out...~! This is preached by a phenomenal speaker - Rev Mark Conner from Melbourne City Life Harvest Church:

Passion: is the fire inside that affects everything outside
: Comsuming fire and perpextual enthusiasm!

The Devil loves to target our passion to serve the lord! (these are what exactly hapening to me NOW!)

4 Passion Killers:
1. Complacency
- When we become comfortable with where and what we are.
- being settled in a good enough box
- Satisfied of what we've accomplished in the past, and not wanting to move
forward to achieve for the greater!

2. Difficult circumstances
- Conflicts, dissapointment, criticism, opposition n discouragement
(YA,exactly my situation now)

3. Unbalanced Lifestyle
- The devil will want to lead you to these so u would burn out!
- Too busy, not time for relaxation...
- No balance of Activity and time of rest! (my current situation 2)

4. Familiarity
- Routine that leads to a boring and unmeaningful task

Firelighters of Passion: What can we do?
1. Activate your spiritual gift
- Discover ur gift and infining your passion
- What frustrates you and annoys you are often what god wants you to do to
improve on of what you see and realize
eg: You are frustrated when the lost are not saved, and so he wants u to
be a pastor or evangalist!

2. Associate people with passion
- Get yourself some people around that is passionate and on fire! (hebrews
10:24-25)

3. Return to your first love

4. Pray 4 Passion!!

Wow! This sermon blew me away! Reading Exodus 8 tells me that.. if you're passion is going away, why wait till tomorrow to pray? why wait till tomorrow to get it back?

Amazing! No one has actually told me that the Devil will snatch and rob my passion away.. but i notice god has made me realize that Devil can and will do that.. until this sermon reassures me once again~! Im so so touched:) and im so glad that i've decided to take a day off today.. to restore my physical, mental and spiritual health. Praise god!

Feel so pumped again today!! Never quit!! Never!! Be strong!!

Romans 5:3-5 We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope